Saturday, 14 May 2011

Romantic Friday Writers - a day late due to Blogger!


Greetings Everyone!

Here we are for the first Romantic Friday Writers, a wonderful idea from L'Aussie (Denise) and Francine Howarth. I had no Blogger yesterday so had a frustrating time waiting to post! I am working part of today and will read everyone's work over today and tomorrow. I'm so excitied to be a part of this. We are submitting work to a theme each week and it can be Flash Fiction, an excerpt from WIP, poetry...whatever as long as it's Romance and under 400 words.

This week's theme is Dire Moment.

My excerpt is from a very new, just forming idea, where Miranda is the head chef on a luxury yacht owned by Xavier Clichy. They are cruising the Western Mediterranean and Miranda has met and fallen in love with Xavier's nephew, Sol. Then.........

The voices sounded far away, sounds lost to the whispering slaps of water against the side of the boat. Miranda raised her head from the deck, pulling sticky strands of hair from the wooden grooves of the floor. Her ear throbbed and her cheek stung where she had been struck. The taste of sweet lemons in her mouth, so delicious earlier in the evening, now brought a chilly nausea rising from her stomach as she took deep breaths to halt the sickness she felt was sure to follow. Forcing herself to stand, she clung to a leather bar stool and fixed her gaze on the calligraphy of the yacht's name etched into the seat as dizziness threatened to swamp her senses.

The air was warm but her teeth chattered and her body shook as the chill of terror took over. She rubbed her frozen arms, feeling goosepimples prickle under the touch. A group of five or six people surrounded a prone figure. They had their backs to her and hadn't seen her stagger to her feet. Their voices were muted to Miranda's ears, the vicious pounding blocked out any clarity. She glimpsed a single white shoe, not Xavier! Please, not Xavier! Her breath caught in her throat as the group shifted enough for her to see her boss lying motionless, his linen suit spattered with stains, which Miranda prayed wasn't blood. Needles of pain pierced her head as she searched for Sol. She dreaded finding him laid out like his uncle. One of the group spotted her and alerted the others. Miranda swayed – they were armed! She counted five men and one woman. The woman was tall and muscular and the smirk she gave chilled Miranda to her core. The menace hesitated. Miranda sensed a presence behind her and turned. The agony in her head was excrutiating and she put out a hand to stop herself falling. Another hand caught her. She looked into the eyes she loved, the face that had lain close to hers only hours before. Sol! Here! Holding her. She melted into his arms. Those arms propelled her into the waiting mob. Rough bodies grabbed her as she stumbled. Her body slumped as the horror of her situation dawned. Sol, the man she loved more than anything glared at her with a gaze so cold she shuddered. He raised a gun,
“Lose her!”

As I said VERY new and I have condensed to meet 400 words - I have, though, had a wonderful time researching Super Yachts! This is an story I wish to develop.

Do click on the picture above to read the other posts and I will be dropping in and catching up all weekend.

Have a great weekend everyone x

15 comments:

  1. Hi,

    WOW! Great start, and I can see why you want to develop this further. Thrilling read, and chilling atmosphere! Would so love to read on . . . ;)

    best
    F

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  2. Oooh!! Poor Miranda! I love her voice here - yay!! Bad Sol - almost as bad as blogger but more sexy! Take care
    x

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  3. WOW! Filled with tension and very menacing. Sounds like a great and interesting new project.

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  4. Hi Margo! Glad naughty blogger finally allowed you to post. There are still some writers who are not back online yet. A long time...

    I loved this! So chilling and thrilling as Edgar Allan would say! Great setting and descriptions which you're so good at. My personal feedback would be that you could create more tension by using smaller paragraphs, but that's just my opinion.

    You have no need to be nervous about these posts Margo. You've done so very well and you've got us all eating out of your hand. Give us more! Now...what can you do with Lost???

    Denise<3

    Romantic Friday Writers - Second Challenge - Lost.

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  5. Delicious! Loved how a chilling sitution occurred in a fairytale setting and developed with such suspense. Miranda's voice is perfect. And Sol, humph! What a cad! Great job, Margo!

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  6. Menace and a twist - nicely done, Margo. I'll be popping back for the next one x

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  7. Thank you soooo much! I always have at least a half hour of jitters whenever I post work and I'm in awesome company here!

    I'm going to enjoy developing Miranda - I've given her an interesting background and Sol...? Well, we'll see....

    L'Aussie - yes I should have formatted better, I think that went out of the window trying to shrink the scene to 400 words. I'll definately think of that for next week.

    Thanks again everyone.

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  8. Miranda has found herself in more trouble than one persons should be in. This piece raised questions and made me want to read on.

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  9. Miranda obviously has lousy taste in men. Ah, bad boys so tempting, but they are ... bad. Great job at suspense and dread, Roland

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  10. Great piece, I enjoyed reading this! Love the idea of Romantic Friday Writers :)

    Hugs,

    Rach

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  11. This was fab!!! I was hooked straight away - really hope you take it further - it's such a brilliant scene... look forward to next week's post
    Lx

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  12. Oh yes, this is a story line you need to develop. Lovers betrayal is juicy stuff. Sounds like it will be intriguing.

    I get caught up research sometimes. The most fun of wrting for me is having a topic to research. Shameful :)

    I didn't write an excerpt for this. Perhaps another Friday.

    ......dhole

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  13. Gulp, What a betrayal! Wow great piece.
    I was completely hooked. Interesting juxtasposition of the description 'whispering slaps'.

    BTW my tagged post is now up.

    You've been tagged Margo :O)x

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  14. Blogger was such a pain! Comments on my last two posts still haven't returned.

    Your entry is so descriptive. Good use of senses.

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  15. This is the second post for the Romantic Friday Writers and it's definately the best of the two. Great job. The writing is excellent. I think I might just have to start becoming one of the Romantic Friday Writers.

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I love reading your comments x